Sunday, October 02, 2005

A Day of Rest / Wedding Bells

I started to write this post on Sunday, and starting now, the Philadelphia Phillies can rest for about 5 months.

The Phightin' Phils ended with a Phenomenal Phinish, sweeping the Nats, but still Phaded from the Wild Card race and Phell just a single game short of the Astros.

On a positive note, Jimmy Rollins got a hit, extending his streak to 36 games, the longest since Paul Molitor's 39 in 1987. On an all-time scale, J Ro is currently 9th. In 8th place we find Tommy Holmes of the 1945 Braves, who can rest easy until the beginning of next season. Actually, he'll always rest easy. For even if he loses the streak, he'll still have his Spink Award.

No major challengers yet for thickest moustache in baseball, still held by Bobby Matthews.




But that's not the real reason for this post. As promised at some earlier date I am too lazy to look up, I will provide a more fitting tribute to Steve's engagement. Maybe I can provide enough info so that Steve can plan the entire wedding through the spam comments on this thing.

So, in tribute, I present my personal favorite TV and Movie Wedding Moments:
(Note to anyone over 40: Stop reading. I haven't seen the Happy Days or Brady Bunch Weddings and for the purposes of this post they never happened).


5. Full House - (Attempted) Wedding of Kimmy Gibler and "Duane" - Long story short - Gibler goes to Vegas to get married to her boyfriend, Keanu Reeves, I mean Duane. Don't they make quite the couple?

Anyway, the Tanner bunch catches wind of the situation, and DJ's boyfriend Nelson Burkhardt magically appears to fly the family to Vegas on his private jet. How convienent. The crew gets there just before the wedding and after some initial hesitation that maybe this episode wasn't going to end in the usual Disney way, the Tanners pull the same exact "you're great for who you are already" logic they use in every episode and the whole thing's called off. Horray! That frees Kimmy up to try and move in on moneybags Nelson.


Wouldn't you rather have him too?


4. Friends - Monica and Chandler get married - I really have nothing to say about this one, I just needed something to put into #4. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never heard the audio portion of the episode (it was on in the gym a few weeks back), though it's probably pretty funny/sappy stuff.

3. Seinfeld - George and Susan's failed attempt - Ah, the brilliantly depressing life of George Costanza. Georgie Boy is very unhappily engaged to Susan. He's as miserable as ever, but for once in his life, he seems to have succeeded in an area where all of his friends have failed. Right? Sadly, no. Enter the dreaded toxic wedding invitation envelopes. George picked 'em, Susan licked 'em, and a quick death later, the anti- Lou Gehrig has his life return to normal. And by normal, I mean terrible.

2. Wayne's World 2 - A sequel that was at least 80% as funny as the first. The classic storyline. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Boy gets approval of her father, James Hong. Boy decides to plan massive concert festival after talking to the spirit of Jim Morrison. Girl becomes rock star and leaves boy to marry Christopher Walken. Boy manages to fend off a terminator, get the girl back, and book Aerosmith. I know, it's been done a million times, but I still like it.

1. Bachelor Party - Tom Hanks and comedy go together like...well, Tom Hanks and everything really. Two Oscars, 3 Emmys, and 4 Golden Globes pretty much speak for themselves. Bachelor Party ranks in the middle of Tom's comedic resume, somewhat below Big and The Money Pit, but ahead...well, I'm not here to talk badly about Bosom Buddies. Tom has paid his penance for that one. I'm here to praise his performance as Rick Gassko. Allow me to plagarize directly from someone else:
Tom Hanks, fresh from Bosom Buddies, stars in this comedy about a bus driver who falls for and gets engaged to an intelligent beautiful rich woman played by the lustful Tawny Kitaen. Seems like a perfect match? There is the matter of her parents hating him..and his friends not liking her. Despite Kitaen's wishes, his friends throw him a bachelor party and of course all gets out of control with hookers drugs loud music and all sorts of debauchery.
This movie was everything that was right about 80's comedy. Mainly, a whole bunch of nonesense that was somewhat remotely related to the original intent of the movie.


Well, that's the list. Not bad for 3 good minutes of brainstorming. But lest we forget....

Honorable Mention:
1. My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Great movie. Both funny and original - a rare combination in Hollywood these days. It was a shoe in for the list. And then came the TV show. A spin-off. Half of the characters of the original, poorly written, and not funny. More like Hollywood these days. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to honorable mention.

2. Ryan Parsons - All the makings of a classic. College age kids. Vegas. But then it had to go and end in Wisconsin. Sorry, Ryan, all I know about that state I've learned from Dogma and Joe Lucero, and that's all I need to know.

3. Pam & Tommy Lee - This didn't qualify because I'm pretty sure they didn't film the actual wedding, but by all accounts, a good time was had by all.